My Spiritual Marathon

More than a few years ago, as I was entering the mid-life crisis phase of my life, I decided it would be a good thing to try and run a marathon. I had in previous decades of my life run 10Ks and half marathons, but I had never taken on the challenge of the 26.2 mile endurance test. I trained well and on the day of the race I felt pretty good. My goal was to run a 10 minute mile pace and for the first half the race I was doing well. I hit the half way point running the pace I wanted. Then it happened. I hit the proverbial wall. Right around mile 18 I felt the twinge in my hamstring as it began to tighten and hurt. By mile 20 I was reduced to walking.

Let me pull back from this story and insert my pondering from this morning. Following Christ is a lot like my marathon experince. Once your relationship with God has been restored by what Christ did on the cross you enter into a period of training in your Christian walk. This is the time in your life where you are beginning to understand who God is and develop your relationship with Him. For some this is where they also end. They fail to enter the race. They grow content with the ease of training forgoing the punishment and reward of the race itself.

I don't know when I entered the race. There is no starting line one crosses. For that matter there isn't even a standard course. Each one runs the race that God has laid out for them. There are hills that we must climb, but there are also downhills where we can "coast" a bit. Then there are the walls that we hit. Those places in life that come at us, overwhelm us, and try to cause use to quit the race. So what are we to do? Let me return to my original story.

I could have quit when my hamstrings cramp. I had run a good race until that point. But something inside me wouldn't let me stop. I had to push through the pain and contiue on my course. So I walked and walked and walked. At mile 23 or so my family was cheering me on so I picked it up and ran for awhile. Soon they faded behind me and I began to walk again. You see I was encouraged by my family which helped me to run again. Likewise when we hit our spiritual wall we need to find someone who can cheer us on or if the table is turned we can instead cheer on someone else. This is one reason why living out our life in community is so vital. I then continued to walk until I could see the finish line. It was a mile or so off but seeing the finish line re-energized me. I wanted to finish strong and I did. As we run the race we call life, we must be looking towards the end. Setting our sights on the end will help us to run a little strong and to finish well.

So where did my ponderings take me today? In my walk right now I am at one of my spiritual walls. My devotions have gotten tiring and my thoughts are at times wandering even more than usual. So what do I do. I need to keep pushing on. I need to reach out to my community for encouragement. I need to once again refocus on the end - deepening my relationship with God and others through the teachings of Jesus and the empowerment of the Holy Spirit. Needless ot say I didn't win the marathon, in fact I finished 6856. But I finished I pushed through and completed the race. This is what God wants from us as well. We don't need to win the race but we are told to finish well.

Voices

I am sitting in the dining center of the school I work at and the din of the room is one filled with voices. Freshman wondering about this adventure called college and the seniors wondering about the adventure they will be embarking on in nine months or so.

The chores of voices rising up are indistinguishable one from another. You can guess about the content of the conversations by watching the facial expressions and body language. It has made me stop and wonder how it is God hears all our prayers and conversations with Him. Like wise I wonder how it is we can hear His voice among the conversations going on around us. How is it we distinguish God's voice from the noises around us?

I also wonder about the conversations we have with God. Those by the freshman, the new believers who are wonder what it is they have become apart of. How is this newly reconciled relationship with the Creator of all things going to impact their life in the days, weeks, months, and years to come? Should we as upperclassman come along side and show them the ropes? This is what mentoring, this wi what discipleship is all about.

Speaking of the upperclassman, what are their conversations like. What crisis are the working through? What new truth about God have they uncovered? What is going to happen to them in their next season of life? These are great questions and i could add more about loving God, loving others, ministry opportunities, and on and on and on? You see the questions for the maturing Christ-follower should never stop. They should continuer to add to the chores of voices calling out to God, not only requests but praises, thanksgivings, and more.

You see unlike me, who as I sit here listening to a lot of conversations but unable to discern what anyone is saying, God hears all our conversations with Him clearly. He then responses in a way so that it is His will that is done.

Desires

As I have reflected on my last couple of tweets a word has jumped out at me. That word is desire. The pondering that got me going on this was Jeremiah 15:16 & Psalm 119:15-18. My desire is for God's word, law, way, and will. Both were in the context of my lectio divina - one from my morning pray and the other from the book Sacred Readings by Kenneth Boa.

Dictionary.com defines desire as a to wish or long for; crave; want. I say that I desire God's word, God's will, God's way, but my actions don't always match my desire. I get distracted by life, by technology, but physical aliments.

I have to stop to make sure that my beliefs and values align with my desire to pursue God with all my heart, soul, mind, and passion. Jesus said this is is the greatest commandment. So where does this leave me? Like Paul I wonder why I do the things I don't want to do and don't do the things that I do want to do. It is part of the becoming like Christ, I can't get there over night but I continue to strive in That direction.

My metanarrative is sound, my beliefs are firmly grounded, my values are more than mere aspirations, though they have not yet become virtues, and my outlook on life is centered on God. I am a work in progress with God at the potters wheel molding and shaping this lump of clay.